Are you living the life you desire? Do you feel happy and fulfilled or do you feel stuck in some way? I truly believe (after over twenty years of continuous improvement through personal development) that we are responsible for our fulfillment, our purpose, our lives and the meanings and emotions we ascribe to the experiences we have. In other words when we take complete responsibility for everything in our life, we can change anything we want. We can then live the life we want and get what we desire.
As a coach I listen to my client’s language to find patterns, figure out their state of mind and truly hear beyond what the person is saying. Most people are not truly understanding the part they are playing in their current situation. In most cases it boils down to comfort over action, confusion over clarity and an inability to see a new perspective from the position they find their pain. When someone is assisted in looking at things in a different manner, they find themselves living a level 10 life in regards to Health, Relationships and Career/Money.
It is important to find the places that are out of alignment, help build skills, recognize patterns, and develop a plan of action to correct any mindset issues. This brings clarity and alignment back into focus. There are many exercises to draw from that build skills, find clarity and utilize courage to overcome fear based mindsets.
One exercise that you can start utilizing today is to reassign the meaning to an event or situation by using different language. The language we use is critically important and sends messages to our brains in ways we don’t always realize. For example, instead of looking at something as a problem, what if you looked at it as a challenge? Which of those two things seems easier to do? A challenge is definitely a more appealing thing than a problem! Changing your language to more powerful words takes some time and training but it is entirely doable and effective.
Another great exercise to do is to realize you have choice. Choice in how you feel and in what you do. Too many people feel stuck in Victim mode. They say, “I have no choice”, “I have to ..”, etc. This causes frustration, anger, and depression. The great news is that you can move out of the victim perspective of having “no choice” into a more powerful perspective through effective and efficient communication with yourself and others. It is important to realize that by telling yourself “you have to do things” or that “you have no choice” creates negative mental subroutines that causes depression, anger, and/or anxiety.
You might be saying to yourself, “You don’t understand John, I really have no choice!”. This is not true!!! We always have a choice. The alternative to what we are doing might be less desirable than what we are currently doing. Technically you are choosing the lesser of the two “evils”. For example, you may stay in a relationship because financially you “can’t leave”. Technically, you could leave but you choose not to be homeless at this moment. By acknowledging that you are choosing to stay is powerful! It takes you out of victim mode and puts you in a better frame of mind to make any appropriate changes that need to be made for you to live a better life. By changing what you say to yourself to “I choose to stay at this time until I….” you are giving a much more powerful statement to your brain than “I have to stay”. Try changing to “I choose” the next time you hear yourself saying “I have to”. It is powerful and liberating.
It is the little things we say and do on a regular basis that make the biggest impact in our lives. By addressing the little unnoticed things, you can turn breakdowns into breakthroughs and start separating away from the fixed mindset that negatively affects you and move into a growth mindset that enables you to have the life you desire. Anyone can be unstoppable in getting what they desire!
I found this out in my own life. In my book “The Unstoppable Mindset for Health: How to have abundant vitality daily the natural way.” I shared how I found clarity in my health and how it has transformed my being, created more self love. I have been able to transfer that clarity to other aspects of my life. I encourage you to be the best version of yourself more often and help others do the same. It is essential to live at your full potential more often to feel fulfilled and happy. Start today with a minor change in the language you use. Over time the results will amaze you!