When working with my clients I often find that the need for forgiveness (of self and/or others) comes up repeatedly. Without forgiveness it is easy to be stuck–in anger, frustration, guilt, depression, loneliness, etc. Even though it is important to forgive, people often struggle with the concept of forgiveness, thinking that it is an erasing of wrongdoing. True forgiveness does not mean forgetting. It is about acknowledging the hurt, choosing to release any negative feelings surrounding the hurt, and embracing love and peace in its place.
I, like many people, had trauma that I held onto because I did not want to forgive. My father bestowed upon me many “gifts” (as I refer to them now). One such gift was a broken neck when I visited him when I was 17 after graduating high school. Other things happened while living with my father. In first grade I was molested by an older boy in the neighborhood and because of the way my dad was, I did not tell anyone for over 40 years. I suffered for many decades from the various traumas I had experienced when I was younger and it had a negative impact on my mental and physical health.
Luckily, I found several different holistic practitioners who helped me. One of them had me do a visualization exercise where I said to that first grade boy “I love you John” –it was not your fault and I forgive you for allowing this to happen and forgive the boy who did this to you. My life blossomed after this experience. I completed my Bachelors degree after 30 years, started my own results coaching business, co-chartered a Toastmasters club with my wife at our office, and transformed my health. Most recently I had a new health challenge and I realized that I had never fully forgiven my father. With some additional help (we all need someone else to guide us through trauma and with life’s challenges) I recently forgave my father and it was a profound moment in my life.
I encourage you to embrace the art of forgiveness–both to yourself and to others. It has transformed my life and I have seen it transform the lives of my clients.
Emotional Freedom: Holding onto grudges and resentments weighs heavily on our hearts and minds. Forgiveness frees us from the burden of negative emotions, allowing us to experience inner peace and emotional well-being.
Improved Relationships: Forgiveness fosters empathy, understanding, and compassion, strengthening our connections with others. By letting go of past grievances, we create space for healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Personal Growth: Embracing forgiveness is a sign of emotional maturity and strength. It empowers us to release the past, live in the present, and cultivate a positive outlook on life.
Improved Physical Health: Unaddressed trauma has been shown to be the hidden cause of a variety of physical illnesses including heart disease, diabetes, kidney disease, cancer, etc. By deciding to forgive it can be an important part of your physical healing.
Forgiveness is a transformative act that holds the power to heal wounds, improve cellular function, mend relationships, and liberate the soul. While it may seem challenging at times, embracing forgiveness can bring profound benefits to both our mental, physical and emotional well-being. One ancient Hawaiian practice, known as Ho’oponopono, is a practice that I enjoy teaching to my clients as it offers a unique approach to forgiveness and reconciliation.
I’m Sorry: Acknowledge any wrongdoing or hurt caused, whether intentional or unintentional. It allows you to express genuine remorse for your actions or words, or for any part that you had in the wrongdoing. (please note that this is not about making you a victim, it is about acknowledgement)
Please Forgive Me: Humbly ask for forgiveness from those you have wronged, recognizing their pain and suffering. (that person you are forgiving can be you)
Thank You: Express gratitude for the opportunity to seek forgiveness and for the healing that forgiveness brings.
I Love You: Offer love and compassion to yourself and others, recognizing the inherent worth and dignity in every individual.
Forgiveness is a powerful tool for personal growth and emotional well-being. Through practices like Ho’oponopono, we can cultivate forgiveness, heal past hurts, and foster deeper connections with ourselves and others. When we forgive, it is not about who is right or wrong; it is about releasing negativity, embracing love and living in peace. Embrace forgiveness as a pathway to inner peace and a brighter, more fulfilling future. You will be amazed at how much lighter and happier you will feel and how incredible your relationships can be! 🙂
John Grant, Results Coach
Offering one on one and group coaching (assisting you in relationships, health, and/or business)
Addendum:
Forgiveness is a strong way to start your journey to enlightenment, transcendence, and
ascension. I am developing a 7 workshop series called “Soul Algebra” along with Joshua Lovelace. This workshop will be a small group setting and will address achieving Forgiveness, Love, Peace, Harmony, Enlightenment, Transcendence, and Ascension.
Currently the plan is for the first day of the workshop to be:
Please RSVP at [email protected] if you would like to be one of the first people experiencing this life transforming workshop.
Here is a link to a speech I recently gave at our Toastmasters club that is
worth watching and sharing with those having traumatic challenges in their lives.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vL1G3jM0YI (Forgiveness speech)
Here is a link to a video I made about the Ho’Oponopono
https://youtu.be/o1wm5BGBmOQ